Your eyes met, your smiles matched and numbers were exchanged with hope and excitement. However, whilst you thought your first date consisted of flowing drinks and scintillating conversation, you never heard from him again. So what the hell went wrong?
Here are some rules and tips that will help you make sure you will have swconed date:
1. Dont be too available but at the same time, avoid being overly aloof. Hes asked you out but you want to let him know that you have a busy, exciting life right? If he suggests meeting on a Wednesday, politely decline but enthusiastically suggest another day such as Thursday.
This tells him that you have a life but youre willing to make space for him in it.
2. Dress to impress but accordingly so. Whilst it may be tempting to show him all of your goods in one go, your aim is to have him wondering what you have to offer.
Thats right girls, that overused phrase less is more will become your new mantra.
You want to dress smart/casual. This is a phrase you will see a lot; possibly on nightclub flyers, invitations etc. It essentially means that if you wear casual jeans, dress them up with high heels.
If you are unsure of the style trend in London, there are great high street stores with websites which sell affordable, on trend fashion.
Just remember the cardinal rule! Choose which asset youre going to show off but never show cleavage AND legs. If you want to see him again, leave the mini dress at home.
3. Wear make up but dont over do it. I dont know any girl who would go on a first date without wearing any make up but you need to be careful with your technique.
For example, if bright red lipstick is your trademark look, youre going to need to save it for your third or fourth date. Although most men love to see a girls unique style, anything too striking can be a slight put off so try to keep it neutral on the first date. Keep the base of your foundation light and simply enhance your natural features. As you get to know each other better, hell probably be begging to see you in red lipstick!
4. Maintain eye contact. This doesnt mean that you should participate in some weird, stare out game with your eye balls but intermittent looks in to his eyes whilst hes talking whilst nodding your head subtly, will show him that youre really listening to him.
5. Ask questions. Everyone loves talking about themselves. Fact. You want to express an interest in him so ask him questions about his hobbies, any pets he might have and what his favourite films are. Not only will this give you vaulable information about the guy you could be dating but it will portray you as a great listener. Brownie points overload.
6. Laugh at his jokes. If you can do this, youre halfway there. Inevitably, the guy will be nervous and he his primary objective of the night will be to impress you. Some men act macho, some flash the cash, others...tell jokes. Whether the jokes are funny or not, if you like him; youre going to have to start laughing.
7. Use positive body language. There is abslutely no point in liking someone if youre looking over their shoulder, sitting with your arms crossed and have your legs facing in their opposite direction. All these signs tell him subconsciously that you are not interested in him.
So if you want to see him again, act relaxed. This means behaving in an open manner by having your arms beside you, making sure your knees are facing him (all this stuff matters, trust me) and keeping your gaze on him.
8. Smile. Some girls are unrelaxed, or dont want to ruin their make up or hate their teeth. Whatever the reason, NOT smiling is guaranteed to look ten times worse.
Flashing your pearly whites makes you appear instantly more attractive, approachable and it has the power to relax the people around you...not to mention the uplifting effects it has.
Try smiling at people on the tube...I bet you a fiver they smile back and I bet you a tenner, it makes you feel great :)
9. Never do anything more than a kiss. Depending on the kind of guy he is, he may lean in for a cheeky goodnight kiss at the end of the night.
If you want to go in for it, it can be a pleasant way to end the evening and can give you that lovely warm feeling on your way home.
Never, ever do any more than a kiss on the first date. This means not kissing elsewhere, no touching, no more!
10. Offer to go dutch. Although many of us expect the man to pay on the first date and it feels great when he does, it can be unattractive to assume that a man will immediately pay for everything – especially if youve just ordered lobster.
When the bill arrives, notice his body language. Did he reach for the bill? Is he fumbling for his wallet? Has he looked to you for reassurance? If you offer to go halves, hell be reassured that youre willing to be treated as an equal...and hopefully hell end up paying for it anyway!
Above all, make sure youre happy, interested and yourself because usually, when you really like someone your own mind does the rest.
Alon